Sorry Heather…couldn’t find your last name again to give you just credit for this one…

I’ve refrained from such language in the past…but have grown particularly fond of the obvious word in the quotation above…for reasons I hope you will come to see..

It’s an interesting expression used to communicate a viewpoint of someone or some group of “others” (unless of course you really don’t like yourself)…..such as “he’s and asshole”… clearly intended to diminish whomever “he” happens to be at the moment… then there’s the ever popular “They are all a bunch of assholes”… a group I definitely wouldn’t want to be Associated with…like my new best-est card playing buddies…there definitely NOT a bunch of Assholes… however, individually one just might find a candidate…but as yet I have found them to be Princes among men….. hmmmm time will tell unless of course I wished to assign the term to the guy that uses the most “wild cards” in a given hand.. but I wouldn’t do that… and what would prevent one or all of them for thinking “I’m” an asshole because I don’t know how to bet on the games they make up…(that only an actuary could figure out).

The worst one of all (unless your like me and egocentric) is the combative, “let’s get it on—-YOURE an asshole !!!!!!!” It unveils the anger of the accuser and surely puts one on the defensive….. “Me?.. an Asshole????” how could that possibly be? And how dare you accuse me of such a thing?…. Pistols at dawn…..or the more timid and pacifist… “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean for you to think I’m an asshole”…yah..like that’s going to change anything.

Of course then there’s the ….”I’m an asshole”…. now rarely do I think that about myself… I’m usually in that fingerpointing group… its a far far better thing in life to realize that you..(me in this case) is perfect and that the “assholes” are all out there somewhere…. then my self image is intact…. and I can stand tall in a sea of assholes who couldn’t possibly fathom my perfection as a human being….

And finally there’s the “I’m an asshole?”note the question mark. this is the one that causes me to lose sleep at night….because in my heart of hearts..I don’t want to be an Asshole….. another excuse for internal reflection…. How did I come to be such a thing…???? What possible behaviors could I exhibit that would bestow upon me such a beneath contempt handle…..a firmness of thought?… an opinion based on certain experiences? A disagreement with anothers viewpoints?….

I have to agree that from time to time I’ve probably acted like an “asshole”… but haven’t we all?… (not the Mrs…she’s near to perfect)…. and of course my Partners..”Idea” and “Good” from time to time and in my scholarly judgement have acted like Assholes…. even my newest partner “Tall Handsome Guy” has acted the part from time to time..but that’s just a moment’s action…and word, a phrase, a look that brands its recipient with this most dubious of titles….. but then philosophically, one must ask the deeper (pardon the expression) question…. “Aren’t we ALL assholes?”..

Well, the obvious answer to all this is no…. we can’t “be” an asshole..but we can surely act like an asshole…..but usually only in the mind of others….. In my role at our little business, there are days when I walk around feeling like I have the word tattooed on my forehead..or a sign on my back that no one told me about….and on those days that I don’t…. someone will be happy to remind me…

I guess it must be true… because when it comes to babies….they melt my heart..